July – Week 1

Amy van der Westhuizen is an aspiring full-time missionary, currently based in George, Western Cape, South Africa. At present, she is getting equipped for long-term missions through media training presented by Kollide Media in George. Amy has a heart for people and a passion for writing and language, and wishes to see people getting reached and inspired to glorify God by going to the nations through media. 

THIS IS HOW I PAUSE: I CONNECT WITH GOD THROUGH JOURNALING AND POETRY

It’s like breathing

As imitators, trying to breathe life into a page

It’s like surrendering

Laying your heart bare before the One

Who formed its sinews

It’s like worshipping

Proclaiming, Holy Holy Holy…

It’s like breathing

Breathing back his Life

as our only worthy offering

To Him who is worthy of every breath.

 If I were to describe writing and poetry – even our larger expression of creativity in its entirety –  it is perhaps more aptly described as a bouquet of flowers put together by a little girl, desiring to be like her father who is a renowned horticulturist: She picks those bright blossoms passionately from her father’s carefully cultivated nursery, bunching them together unceremoniously as she runs toward him, exclaiming, “I want to show you something, daddy!” Though her arrangement is haphazard and carries only the slightest reflection of his vast and masterful cultivation, the pleased smile of her father never ceases to appear as she runs toward him. And ever-proudly, he places the flowers – in its whimsy, flimsy form – in the awaiting vase upon his work table.

The Father cherishes our time of communion with Him, whatever it may look like – whether it is in the form of prayer, song, a poem, art, or journaling, He enjoys our haphazard bouquets that we bring to Him.

I want to write this, partly as an encouragement to those that feel their ‘small’ talents are not a worthwhile form of worship. I want to tell you that it is. Or it can be, if it is something that you do to the glory of God. Those seeds of passion that the Lord has planted that we deem too small… The ones we tend to bury, to forget… I want to challenge us to start watering them! In John 4:23, Jesus speaks of true worship, saying the following:“But the hour is coming, and is now here, when the true worshipers will worship the Father in Spirit and truth, for the Father is seeking such people to worship Him.”

I would like to encourage us then, to worship in spirit and truth, no matter how humble the beginning. Jesus too had a humble beginning. He came from a humble family rich only in faith; He was born in an inn and laid in a manger; and his work, when he wasn’t ministering to people, was in carpentry. Looking back further to people like David the Psalmist and Moses the great leader of the Israelites through the wilderness – David started out as a shepherd, and Moses as a man with a stutter – it seems to me that God is not too bothered with the world’s perception of ‘good enough’ but rather who is willing to devote themselves wholeheartedly to Him.

 In my own journey with writing, I did not think much of abilities at first either, but I loved language and enjoyed reading what others had written. Journaling came naturally to me as it was a way of organising my thoughts that tended to run away with me; the only way that I could keep up with them was if I wrote them down. So I wrote from a young age. It was a way for me to press pause on my mind’s wanderings. Poetry, on the other hand, was something I never thought I would create. It was something that I read and slowly started enjoying more as my high school journey continued.

 It was only in my second year of university, however, that my interest was piqued in writing poetry myself. But I was intimidated by this art form, as I had read many of ‘the greats’ in poetry and thought, “I could never.”

 But then the Lord led me to the Psalmist. And I experienced that yearning to worship, the kind of worship that leaves you in awe of who God is – of his Holiness – and I knew that I could not but write in order to express this awe, this wonder, this passionate love for the Lord. And then, He gave me wonderful friends who loved the Lord through their art too, and that inspired me even more. And so I started writing some of my own little poems. But even though they were little in most every way, it felt big. It was a step out of the boat. I was leaving what was comfortable, and I was stepping into a part of what I was called to in bringing glory to God. I was leaving my own desire and strife for perfection in the boat, and I was humbling myself into a position where I could be taught by the Holy Spirit how to worship. It is only in this position of humility that the Lord can work with us – when we admit that we don’t, in fact, know, and allow Him to lead us into ALL truth.

 And now, I find myself – having been called by the Lord into media – being equipped for long term missions through media training in George, Western Cape! And I praise God that He is starting to put my writing to use for His kingdom through this very blog!

 So I invite you to pause with me. Pause, and ask God. “Lord, show me where to start. What talents have you blessed me with that you want to use for your kingdom?” And then, dear reader, simply take the first step out of the boat.