To Kiss or not to Kiss
Many years ago, my husband, without my knowledge, signed me up to preach a couple of sermons during a home visit. At the time, we lived and worked in Zambia as missionaries. At first, I thought it was one of his jokes, but upon closer inspection of our program, I realized that it was legit – I was indeed scheduled to preach on two separate occasions. I did not know if I should laugh or cry – I was too shocked! I reached out to a friend, an older lady with a big heart for missions who traveled regularly to Zambia. I asked for prayer and wisdom.
Her simple answer to my whining was, “It is people like you God can’t use for you refuse to get out of your comfort zones!”
This was not the answer I expected, and I found myself speechless for a second time in one hour. Burning with a mixture of resentment and shame, I very quickly realized how right she was! I needed to step up, for the laborers remained few. My friend turns 80 this year, and we keep in touch. She remains a huge inspiration to me, actively involved in serving the poor, proclaiming the good news of Jesus at Sunday school, and praying for her family and others.
Our Scripture Verse today is taken from Proverbs 27:5. Faithful are the wounds of a friend (who corrects out of love and concern), but the kisses of an enemy are deceitful (because they serve his hidden agenda).
In Luke 7, we read of how a sinful woman with quite the reputation anointed Jesus. When Jesus sensed the disapproval of his host, Simon, a Pharisee, he said to him – “I came into your house. You did not give me any water for my feet, but she wet my feet with her tears and wiped them with her hair. You did not give me a kiss, but this woman, from the time I entered, has not stopped kissing my feet.” But what to do with Judas, leading a mob to arrest Jesus? Luke tells us that upon approaching Jesus, He asked, “Judas, are you betraying the Son of Man with a kiss?”
Understanding these three people’s actions is a matter of the heart. Even though Jesus was the guest of honor at the banquet Simon arranged, one wonders what his motives were, for he ignored the basics of Middle Eastern etiquette, not washing his guest’s feet upon arrival or greeting him with a kiss. In the short parable, Jesus tells us later that night we identify Simon as the man who owed little and was forgiven little; therefore, his gratitude was little. Judas Isacriot’s kiss is an entirely different story. It is the kiss of an enemy and exposes the deceitfulness of his heart. The word deceitful means to multiply, which explains why the ESV translates Proverb 27:5 as profuse are the kisses of an enemy!
But what exactly is a “faithful wound?” Most important is to remember this wound comes from a friend who takes no pleasure in inflicting pain. Understanding that it is for our benefit, they are willing to say that which is difficult. It can be a warning, a rebuke, or a correction, but because they understand that discipline in the short term will prevent potential pain in the long term, they are willing to risk upsetting us! They understand that not wounding us can have far worse consequences! Ultimately, we must remember that Godly love does not cover sin; it corrects sin.
There are many misunderstandings about friendship currently in the world; all lies from the enemy. True friendship is more than keeping things comfortable, fun, and peaceful. Genuinely caring about someone means we are willing to help perfect that person. As Paul reminds the Galatians – Brothers, if someone is caught in a sin, you who live by the Spirit should restore that person gently. But watch yourselves, or you also may be tempted. The truth is we all need real friends who will care for our souls and be willing to correct us when necessary.
CHALLENGE FOR THE WEEK: Shall we let Solomon have the last word in this penultimate challenge of the year? He warns in chapter 9 not to correct a scoffer (who takes no responsibility for his error) as he will hate you, but correct a wise man (who learns from his error), and he will love you! May God help us be good friends, willing to give brave counsel, and wise when we receive someone else’s brave counsel!
